Cold hands, warm shart.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
