Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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