Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
