I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
