Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
