so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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