It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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