she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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