why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
