At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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