how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize
