I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
