she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Randomize
