I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize