i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
