New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
