My room smells like vodka and shame
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
