so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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