i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
