Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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