i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
