I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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