I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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