Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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