mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
