CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
