capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
