all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
