Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy

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(734): View more from Michigan

Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?

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(703): View more from Virginia

im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off

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(573): View more from Missouri

So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?

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(254): View more from Texas

Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."

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(516): View more from New York

Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.

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(214): View more from Texas

Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic

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