She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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