last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
