Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
