i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize