I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
