The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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