C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
