I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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