Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
