I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Your penis caused this!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
