in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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