No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
