it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
