I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
