Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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