Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
