i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize