I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
