My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
