Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
