Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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