I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
