some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
