White coat. Heels.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
