We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I am naked and annoyed.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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