I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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