we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
