Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
