hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
