Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
