don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
