And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize