are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
