There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
