i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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