He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
