A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize