oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
