worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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