So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
how does that bad decision feel?
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