Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
