She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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