dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
